My First Born

Tomorrow is Sullivan's official birthday. I honestly can NOT believe the child is going to be four. I feel like I was just running up the stairs yesterday to tell Aaron there were TWO pink lines, not one!!! I had a miscarriage a few months before I got pregnant with him, so I was terrified of everything. But, the moment I heard his little sweet cry, I knew my world had changed and would never be the same. We had gone and bought a video camera so that we could capture all of the ways our new little miracle would change- if only we could have captured all of the ways he changed us! On the day I had him, as I heard him cry, I also heard his Daddy. Aaron dropped the NEW video camera, tears streaming down his face, and cried "You make beautiful babies" over and over. I could not wait to have my eyes on him, and when I did, his thich dark hair and sweet little face grabbed me. That night, when I held him in the nursery for the first time, I could think of nothing else. Here I was, fresh out of surgery, blood pressure through the roof, hadn't eaten in three days, and all I could think was," I have made this? This tiny life?" He was SOOOO tiny- 5 pounds 7 ounces, 17 inches long. I remember thinking that I had never seen a baby this tiny much less held one before. But, he taught me that he didn't care about my past or what I looked like, all he cared about was his mommy holding him close. I had a hard time letting go of him, and for the first two years, I had a hard time letting anyone else watch him. I spoiled him rotten, I don't think he was put down for 6 months straight, and after that, it was rare. This little tiny life had stolen my heart from the get go.
He never practiced crawling- he waited until he had it, then he crawled like a mechanical doll- perfectly. He did not fall from practicing his first steps, he waited until he walked well, and then showed his new skill. The child ALWAYS had a smile on his face, if he didn't we knew he had an ear infection. His smile was contagious, he rubbed off on anyone around. About four months, he developed stop you in your tracks gorgeous blue eyes and has kept them since. Its kind of wierd, Aaron has dark brown eyes, and I though for sure that he would get them. He didn't talk alot his first years, he said mama, dada, choo choo, ball and papa for a long time. Then, just as he did with everything else, he just started to talk. He told us one day (when he had not said more than about 20 words), "Kate got in trouble today for throwing mulch on the playground." I thought I would pass out, but then I realized that this is his style. He is quite the perfectionist, and wants the world to see his new skill only after he has mastered it.
He has caused us much grief in the four years we have known him- he seems to be ALL boy and knows just how to find an accident. He has sliced his ear in half by jumping on the bed, sliced his eye playing tug of war with his daddy, wrestled Sampson (our 70 pound dog) for his bone winning the bone, but getting a bite to the nose at the same time, he fell while climbing OVER a plastic kitchen, breaking his tooth and shoving another ALL the way back into the gums, and countless other things that we decided not to head to the ER for. He only gets sick on Friday night or during a holiday- he has mastered that skill quite well. He has had his share of illness, scaring us. Unfortunately, he has inherited his daddy's asthma, the one trait he wished not to pass down. But, through it all, he is a trooper. He doesn't complain much, and when he does, we know that he must be VERY sick or VERY hurt. Luckily for him, he did not get my tolerance for pain (or his daddy's for that matter, but he is a man, and men don't feel pain, right?)
I am so proud of the boy he is becoming, and know already that he will be a fine man when he is grown. He is sensitive and loving, sweet and thoughtful. We could not have prayed for a better brother for Sophie- he will drop everything he is doing to make her stop crying and come running from another room. He is very protective of her, not letting people touch her or be loud around her. He is learning to use his manners all of the time, and while it is adorable to hear him fumble trying to find the right expression sometimes (saying mam to a man or sir to a woman, please when he wants to say thank you, etc.), it is wonderful to think of the foundation he is building for quite a spectacular man.
Although I am sad that he is turning four because I feel like it has just moved too quickly, I am excited to get to watch him grow. Aaron will never know what it has meant to me to be allowed the privelage to watch him everyday of his little life. To be there to build lego towers, play candyland until we couldn't tell the difference between colors anymore, read 50 books in one day, or just kiss his booboo when he fell. Everytime his little hand reaches for mine, I realize how blessed I am. I love this little man, and can not wait to watch him grow into a big one!