Life According to Mr. Know it All

Wanna know about life? Real life? The circle of life according to a 4 and a half year old? We went to McDonalds yesterday, where Sullivan explained it all to us. When you are 100 years old, you get to climb really well. Like, you can climb on the outside of the plaything all the way to the top. You can also run really fast when you are 100, faster than God. Then, something happens, and you become 30 and turn into a mom. At this point, you get to have kids and (when this all happens to Sullivan), you bring your kids to Bunco with you so that they can play with all of your mommy friends.



Did you get all that? Ooh boy do we have our hands full. Any suggestions for turning a meanie into a nicie? Sophie is definitely a meanie. The problem is, she knows she is really cute. So, while she is pinching you, she is also smiling really big. She could care less if you fuss at her, if you pop her hand, or if you put her in timeout. She is getting meaner everyday. We went to Chuckee Cheese yesterday, where she was totally in love with the robot dancing at the front. She loved all over him. Then, we went into the mall and let the kids play (I know the playground is dirty ok, don't flame me!). Anyway, Gymboree was having a big sale that I could not resist, so I left the kids in the playground with Aaron. I come back, and Aaron tells me that a little boy is beating up on Sophie, but Sullivan is taking care of him. He asks me why I don't look mad, and I say, "Has she pinched you lately? You don't have to worry about her, she can hold her own!"



Things Sophie loves right now: "Growling like a tiger, mooing like a cow, talking on the phone to nanny and pawpaw, climbing in the toilet, jumping on anything, pushing anything in strollers, pinching us, hitting us, slapping us, kissing us, talking in jibberish, loving all over Delilah while yelling "Dog Dog Dee Dee", being outside, and swimming.



Things Sophie hates right now: her brother playing without her (don't even bother closing a door), coming inside, getting out of the bathtub, going to sleep, being told no, and most of all, having anything taken away from her whether she likes it or not.



A few more Sullivanisms from the past few weeks:



After falling down and scraping his knee : "It hurts more than the whole world, its hurts more than the whole world!"



After seeing Wall-E and understanding that the Earth is part of the solar system, which is actually, the whole world, "Man, God must be super big since THIS is the whole world that he has in his hands. I only thought that song was talking about Earth, but this is really big. I mean, do you know how big this is mom? He has to be REALLY big to have all of this in His hands, I am talking REALLY big."



After I stood up too close to him, "Mom, do you think I want your big booty in my face?" and about two hours later," I didn't mean your booty was big mom, I meant you are a beautiful woman with a little booty, do you think you could take me to see Kung Fu Panda now?"



He was instructed to go pick out 5 books and sit in the playroom and read them before bed while Aaron and I were watching a movie in the living room. About 30 minutes later, he comes out with a book in hand and says ,"Yall's movie is too loud, I mean do you mind, what are you thinking? I am trying to read back here, and now I have to start this book all over, it will probably take me like 100 weeks or something. Now I will never be able to make my bedtime."

Confessions from the mother of a Drama King and Queen

Yes, that's right folks, my children will beat anyone they are put up next to in a drama competition. I'll start with the younger one, since she has had less time to perfect her "art".

Sophie walks around the house playing, and when Sullivan comes close to her (but doesn't touch her), she yells (in a very realistic, "I've been hurt severely" voice) "OUCH". Yeah, she tries to get him in trouble, the problem is, if he is in time out, she can't keep herself off of him. She wants to play with him while he is there. She is a horrible pincher, slapper, and meanie. Sullivan tolerates it most of the time, but she is pretty good about hurting him, then as soon as an adult looks, saying "Ouch" as if she is the one being hurt.

On to the tried and true actor. Yesterday, I took him out of the tub, stood him on the toilet to dry him off. He is taller on the toilet, therefore I can reach him better without having to bend. He says (in a very authoritative voice), "Safety violation, Safety violation, you should never stand on high slippery surfaces with wet feet- it's an accident waiting to happen."

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Then, he is walking into the living room, glances at the clock, instantly turns on the drama, then says, "Mom, whatever happens don't look at the clock." Ok, seriously, what would you do? I, of course, expecting to see a snake or a brick or shattered glass, look at the clock. I see nothing unusual. Apparently, Sullivan does. He starts seriously breaking down, although it didn't feel really all that genuine. I tell him to calm down and tell me what is wrong. "It's past seven o'clock and I really wanted to watch the Making show with daddy. Now I will never see it because it's past my bedtime." I tell him to calm down, that it's the summer, and perhaps he can stay up a little late. He is in an all out breakdown at this point. Aaron starts to give in. I tell Aaron that he is showing him that the harder he whines, the more he gets, bu he doesn't really listen. So, I go in my room, very upset. Sullivan comes in and says the following, word for word, but with the sweetest, most dramatic voice ever: "Oh beautiful, loving, sweet, fantastic mother, I just love you so much. You are so wonderful, would you mind giving me the remote?" I am doing all that I can not to break out in laughter when I hand him the remote. I hear Aaron in the other room going crazy. Sullivan thanks me in the following way: "Thank you most wonderful, beautiful, sweet, most perfect mother, you are the best."

Awards please.....................

Jose?

Well, apparently I cheated on Aaron and conceived Sullivan with someone else. He is convinced his name is Sullivan Jose. He swears by it, and has actually cried when we try to tell him his name is actually Sullivan Isaiah. Funny that he ordered a pizza last time we went to Casa Ole, I guess that part of his heritage didn't come with the name?

He has also decided that he is Indiana Jones. He doesn't really know what that means other than he can get the bad guys. He looks behind every door for bad guys to get, jumps out and says, "Stand back for Indy". I swear the kid could make us a million dollars if we could stick him in a movie.

He is a big fan of the Aggies (the Texas A&M team). Since he has been to ALOT of sporting events to cheer them on, he has picked up on alot of the traditions from around here. He can sing every last word of the fight song, and can tell you more about the yells than you could imagine. Anyway, every time there is a game on tv, no matter who is playing, he asks, "Mom, which one is the Aggies, and which one is the bad guys?" I can tell him that neither team is the aggies, and he doesn't believe me, he just picks a team that sounds good and calls them the Aggies. Sadly, the other team becomes the instant "bad guys."

He has also perfected the art of belly flopping. I have got to get it on video, because its hillarious. The crazy thing is that he actually means to do it! He gears up, says "this is gonna hurt" then jumps out and lands right on his tummy!

Two Fathers

There are two important fathers in my life that I want to recognize on this most important Father's Day.

First, my first hero. The first man that stole my heart. The man that grabbed me from the birth canal, and (as I am told because I can't remember) walked around the delivery room singing me songs, fending off the nurses and my mom who wanted to hold me. The man who forgot to pay for his gas and was chased to the hospital to watch me be born by police officers. He is the man who sacraficed working at jobs that I know he did not always want to go to so that I had food to eat, barbies galore, cabbage patch kids with the newest outfits, and a mom who could nurture me. He is the man who taught be to be strong, to be independent and brave. He taught me to do what I want in life and not what is expected. He is the best story book reader ever- you wouldn't imagine all of the voices he makes for Cat in the Hat or Hop on Pop and Red Fish, Blue Fish. He is wise beyond measure, but has no problem spending afternoons figuring out how to build the biggest block tower imaginable. He is adored by my children. He plays with them on their level, and they love it. Happy Father's Day Dad, you are amazing. Oh, did I mention, he returns my children so tired that they fall asleep in the middle of Dillards?

Second, my soul mate. He has not only given me a life to build, but two little miracles. It is quite funny that I wish Aaron a happy father's day, as he had no desire to have a child let alone two. He would have been fine having none, but he has grabbed a hold of his "daddy" role and run like a champion. These kids think he is the greatest thing around. To Sullivan, he is a buddy. He is the one who rescues him from the deadly killer ladybugs, the one who is willing to step on spiders to save his life, the one who can fix ANYTHING, the one who knows what all of the buttons do, and mostly the "boss" that he wants to be when he grows up. To Sophie, he is a cuddling partner. He is the one who is willing to play with her hair while she falls asleep, even if it takes an hour. He is the man who can make her laugh or cry in a matter of two seconds. The one who will change the poopy diapers without a frown, clean up the throw up no matter where it is, the one who will tell her she is beautiful in the tutu she is wearing for the sixth day in a row, and the one who will let her brush his hair even though it really hurts. Happy Father's Day Aaron, you are spectacular.

Want to Laugh?

First things first, Sophie is quite a little mommy! She is really good at patting, holding, kissing, rubbing, feeding, and then WHACKING her babies. She is into this stroller, and pushes anything that will fit into it all over the place. She drags the stroller everytime we leave out the front door, and insists on taking it. On another note, she has slept in her bed through the night for the past three nights. Last night, she made it from 8 pm until 6 am, climbed in my bed, and slept until 8. HOORAY!!! I actually feel like a whole new woman!!!

Ok, onto the funnies. We were eating at McDonalds the other day, when one of the workers sits down at the table next to us to eat his own lunch. Sullivan says (rather loudly), "Wow, even makers like to eat the food here, I told you McDonalds is good!"

We go to a Chinese restaurant last night (the same one that now knows exactly how old everyone in my family is), the lady comes to take a plate out from in front of Sullivan. He apparenlty brushes up against her arm (which I think was shaved). He says, "Man, that makers' skin was SOOOOO soft. I wish my skin was so soft, but mine is so hard, I have to hit it all of the time just to make it bleed." (He is turning into a REAL boy- everything is about blood)

Ok, so time for your lesson- there are two kinds of bad words- potty words or trash can words. If you say them too many times (this is all according to Sullivan), you can go to jail with all of the bad guys. So potty words are - "poop, tee tee, potty" basically anything relating to the toilet. The trashcan words are "stupid, shutup, dummy, and the newly added ideot". Sullivan LOVES to catch other people saying these words. Last night, he was telling us about how PawPaw likes to say trashcan words, and he doesn't know why he hasn't gone to jail yet. Then he says, "I bet God is up there listening to us talking about all of these stupid trashcan words just waiting to send us to jail." I told him that God doesn't send people to jail, to which he replies, "Maybe they just haven't said enough trash can words yet."

Tired?

Not me! For the first time in two years, I am NOT tired! We did the unthinkable and let my parents keep BOTH kids overnight Friday night. They usually come to town about once a month, rent a hotel room, and let Sullivan do whatever his little heart desires for 24 hours. But, Sophie weaned about 2 weeks ago, and has been sleeping in her big girl bed for about a week, so I figured she was probably ready to test the waters. I told mom I was packing Sophie's bags, and she kept laughing. They really did not believe that we would let her go. We have been a little protective of her! (she's our last dangit!) And, she actually did great. As a matter of fact, when I showed up yesterday morning, neither of my kids looked really happy to see me. Actually, if I am being really honest, Sullivan opened the door and asked me to leave. He wasn't relatively happy about spending his special time with nanny and pawpaw with his sister too, but he was ok with it. And, we let him have a few hours yesterday afternoon with them alone. They always have to go get a mall ball at the mall- a little rubber bouncy ball that costs 50 cents, but is a big ritual when they come to town.

We spent four hours at a fun city pool yesterday where Sullivan remembered that he knows how to swim, and Sophie decided that swimming can be fun. But, perhaps the biggest development was that they took the kids to toys r us and got them toys. (not anything new). Sullivan got this car that he and nanny have been looking all over the country for for about 6 months.

But Sophie got her first doll and stroller and bottle. I didn't think she was old enough, but boy was I wrong. Apparently she is a little mommy. She pushed that doll all over town yesterday, and then when we got home, pushed her around our house for about 45 minutes. She stops, gives the baby her bottle (which is hillarious since she NEVER would take a bottle), gives the baby kisses and pats, and then returns to pushing her.

I apologize that the picture is turned sideways, I don't have photoshop on my laptop.

Aaron and I got to go out to eat, watch a movie, and then SLEEP Friday night. It was wonderful. You don't have to worry about any surprise babies, trust me when I say all I desired was SLEEP! Then, the kids both fell asleep at 7 last night, and I fell asleep at 8:30. I can definitely say I am all rested up! What a fun weekend! And, there is still another whole day ahead!

Sullivanisms

I have a ton of cute pictures to upload, hence the break in posting, but it looks like a few more days before Aaron finishes "fixing" my other computer. So, I will just update you on a few "Sullivanisms" from the last few weeks.

Me- "Sullivan, where do you want to go eat? We will anywhere, because its a special night for you- your graduation."
Sullivan-" McDonalds"
Me- "Anywhere BUT McDonalds"
Sullivan-" Fine, how about Whataburger? I am really thirsty for water, and surely they have it there, I mean listen to their name WATER burger."

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I grab a Diet Coke out of the fridge to drink, Sullivan says-
"Mom, if you keep drinking all of that diet coke, you will probably get fat, you should probably only drink Lemonaide or something."

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We go eat at a Chinese restaurant where the waiter asks me how old the kids are, I tell him 1 and 4 (they apparently charge by the year), Sullivan pipes in, "And my mom is 30, and my dad is 29, I know he looks bigger than her, but its true, he's not!"

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We went to look at a lot on which we might build a house. We asked Sullivan what he thought, did he like it. "Ummm, we aren't makers, so I don't know how you expect a house to get here."

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We were shopping for new shoes yesterday, and while I was looking at bows, Sullivan befriended a lady who was checking out. He was being good, so I didn't interupt, but I could hear they were having a pretty serious conversation. When I headed back over to the counter, the three ladies in the store were cracking up laughing, along with the lady who was checking out. Sullivan was looking a little suspicious, so I asked what was so funny. Sullivan says, "Mom, meet my new friend Alicia." The lady is now CRACKING Up laughing. " I told her my name is Sullivan, but she didn't understand me, so I told her to just call me McQueen, Lightning McQueen, and I eat losers for breakfast." Drama lessons please :)