I gave birth to a monster

What? A monster, no, you have two gorgeous children who behave everywhere they go not depending on whether they have had a nap or not. Actually, I think my kiddos are pretty good, and would never refer to them as a monster (if you have heard me refer to either as monsters, please don't comment, I want to keep the "good mother of the year" persona alive on the web if not anywhere else- thanks!). Anyway, Sullivan comes into my room Saturday morning telling me "Mom, I just knew it, I AM an monster." "A monster Sullivan, I don't think you are a monster, I think you are a little boy." Then, he drops his head in a pouting fashion and proclaims, "I AM a monster, and I can prove it."
Now, perhaps you don't know much about me, but I am a scientific, mathematical gal. Never one to go against facts, I HAD to see or hear this proof that my almost four year old had to show that I had not given birth to a human, but rather a mythical creature. So, I indulged, "Show me the proof Sullivan." He leaves my room for a few minutes, and I think he has given up on the idea. He returns with a picture. This picture to be more exact: He says, "See, I always knew it- I am a monster. Do you see my red eyes in this picture, only monsters have red eyes." We proceeded to have a long talk about photography only after I picked myself up off the floor flabergasted that there was no proof out there that he is a monster (none yet anyway).
We also tried a new church yesterday- if you read what happened over Easter at a new church, you will understand why we have to preempt Sullivan with only using "church" words when he is in his new class. I go to pick him up after church, and the girl working in the nursery says, "Man, he is quite a character." Oh Lord, I am thinking. Please don't let him tell about my panties or fighting with my husband, or any of the sort of things you would think are private. "He told us that his birthday is in two weeks and one day, we couldn't believe a child could be so smart." (Well, it is NOT in two weeks and one day, but how could I keep that from her?) "We asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said- An aggie baseball player who marries Lauren." We asked if he was going to go to A&M when he got bigger, and he replied, "No I am going to McDonalds when I get bigger. "

So, now that you have had your dose for the day, can someone please tell me how I trapped a 40 year old in his little body? Here's a fun picture from the Astros game we went to last week.